“Since joining COMPASS, I feel less alone, calmer, more confident, and have a better understanding of my teen.” Emma, Essex
Raising a teen can feel like trying to complete a puzzle without all of the pieces.
Maybe they’ve stopped talking to you, and you have no idea why.
Or some days it’s the slammed door, sarcasm and the tension you can feel the moment they walk into the room.
You might find yourself lying awake, replaying conversations and wondering if you said too much, not enough, or the wrong thing altogether.
And underneath it all is the fear that if things keep going this way, the distance between you will only grow.
You’ve probably read the advice, tried the techniques, and googled all the things, only to find that what worked yesterday suddenly doesn’t work today.
Because most parenting advice treats every teenager the same, and every parent as if they’re starting from the same place. Neither is true.
That’s why this can feel so exhausting and lonely.
But you are not alone, and this doesn’t have to stay this hard.
COMPASS at a glance
What it is
COMPASS is an online programme for parents of teens, designed to help you feel more steady, informed, and supported.
Who it's for
For parents of children aged 11 to 19 who want to better understand their teen and feel more confident in how they support them. The work is for you as the parent, with no need for your teen to take part.
What's inside
9 modules with focused videos (5-20 min) and guided worksheets to help you apply each lesson to your own family.
How long it lasts
You’ll have 6 months of support, plus 2 years’ access to the full COMPASS framework and content.
Group Calls
Weekly 60-minute live Zoom calls on Thursdays at 2 pm, where you can bring real-life challenges and get support.
1-2-1 support
Unlimited 30-minute 1:1 sessions with me, whenever you need a more private space to talk things through.
What changes
The outcome of the programme is simple, but powerful: to trust that you have the power to change how things are with your teen, not by trying to fix or control them, but by changing how you show up.
So you feel calmer and more confident, and begin to trust that your relationship can get through hard moments, rather than feeling like something you’re just hoping will survive.
I’ve called this programme COMPASS because that’s exactly what it helps you find: a clearer route through the uncertainty, so the way you respond to your teen starts to feel steadier and more natural.
We’ll work through this by understanding what’s really going on underneath, not just what it looks like on the surface. We’ll look at the patterns that build between you and your teen, starting with the teenage brain itself, so more of it makes sense, and less of it catches you off guard.
Parents come to COMPASS for different reasons. You might recognise one of these, or all three.
1 of 3
Nothing you try seems to land
Maybe you’ve tried staying calm, being firm, setting boundaries, or using humour, and still somehow it ends in distance, defensiveness, or silence.
What works one day seems to fall flat the next, and you’re left wondering what changed, or whether you handled it wrong.
Underneath it all is often a quiet sense of uncertainty: I don’t actually know what to do anymore. That can feel deeply unsettling when you’re trying so hard to get it right.
"I don't dread the next emotional explosion; I know how to handle it"
E Derbyshire
The answer
Focus on what's in your control
You’ll start with a Full Home Audit. It’s not about judgement or criticism, just a gentle look at what’s happening in your home and where to begin.
From there, we’ll work out what’s in your control and what you can let go of. Not by adding more rules, making empty threats, or reaching for consequences in the heat of the moment, but by helping you set clearer boundaries and agree on consequences in a way that feels calmer, fairer, and more consistent.
We’ll also look at how you communicate, because it’s not only what you say, but how and when you say it. The aim is for your teen to feel more able to hear you, and for you to feel less like you’re walking on eggshells.
The result
You’ll feel steadier in yourself.
You’ll have a clearer sense of how to handle difficult moments without everything escalating or carrying the weight of them for days afterwards.
And instead of second-guessing every interaction, you’ll begin to understand what’s happening underneath the surface and how to respond in a way that feels calmer, clearer, and more effective.
2 of 3
You're scared it's more than just a phase
Maybe they’re spending more time in their room, lashing out, or barely speaking, and you’re left wondering: is this normal teenage behaviour, or something more serious?
That uncertainty can be frightening.
You might already have asked for help, only to find yourself waiting, or trying support that still hasn’t changed what daily life feels like at home.
COMPASS is not therapy for your teen. It’s support for you as the parent, helping you understand what you’re seeing, know what needs your attention, and find a steadier way to respond at home.
"I've stopped personalising and reacting to my teen and am more able to address the challenges in a calm way"
Audrey, Scotland
The answer
Make sense of what's really going on
This isn’t about dismissing your concerns or assuming it’s all just a phase. It’s about helping you make sense of what you’re seeing, so you can respond with more calm, clarity, and confidence.
We start by looking at your teen’s behaviour through the lens of the four core emotions, so you can begin to understand what may be underneath it, whether that shows up as anger, withdrawal, or a mix of both.
You’ll also look at your own emotions: how they build, how they affect the way you respond, and how easily your teen’s feelings and yours can become tangled in the moment.
From there, you’ll learn how to notice what belongs to them and what belongs to you, so you can stay more grounded without feeling like you have to carry everything or fix everything alone.
You’ll also build your own Emotional First Aid Kit, so you have practical ways to steady yourself when things feel intense.
The more supported and resourced you feel, the more able you are to support your teen.
The result
You’ll feel steadier in yourself, rather than pulled into every emotional shift.
You’ll feel more able to navigate hard moments without being pulled straight back into the same old patterns.
And over time, the space between you can begin to feel easier, safer, and more open.
3 of 3
You feel shut out
Sometimes the hardest part is realising the relationship between you and your teen doesn’t feel the way it used to.
Time together can start to disappear.
Conversations get shorter, or harder to begin at all.
You find yourself getting one-word answers, closed doors, or the feeling that they’re keeping more and more of their world away from you.
And you’re left wondering when things started to feel so distant.
What you want isn’t just better behaviour or less tension.
You want to feel close to them again.
You want to trust that when something really matters, they’ll come to you, instead of keeping you out.
"My daughter wants to spend more time with me and even asked me to go for a coffee together" - Helen, Derbyshire
The answer
Find your way back to each other
Some conversations will still get messy. COMPASS helps you meet those moments with more steadiness, instead of spiralling into guilt, defensiveness, or silence.
You’ll practise how to pause, own your part, apologise without over-explaining, and come back with words that keep the door open:
“I’m sorry I snapped. Can we try that again?”
“I care about this, and I don’t want us to get stuck here.”
“I’m listening. I may not get it right, but I want to understand.”
We’ll also look at your own parenting roots and why certain moments with your teen can feel more loaded than others.
The result
A connection that feels real and steady, not forced or fragile.
Not because everything is suddenly easy, but because your teen begins to experience you as someone who can repair, stay present, and keep reaching for them without forcing the door open.
How is COMPASS different?
Free advice can tell you what to try. It usually cannot tell you why it is not working in your home, with your teenager, in the moments that keep going wrong.
COMPASS starts there.
We look at your teen, and we look at you.
Because the way you respond when things get hard did not come from nowhere. It is often shaped by how you were parented, what you had to manage growing up, and what you learned to do when things felt tense, ignored, criticised, or out of control.
This is not about blame.
It is about understanding why certain moments hit so hard. Why you shut down, push harder, over-explain, lose your footing, or feel yourself repeating patterns you never meant to repeat.
When you can see what is happening for both of you, things start to make more sense.
Everyone works through the same COMPASS framework, but the worksheets, group calls, and 1-2-1s make it personal to your family.
The worksheets help you apply the framework to what is actually happening at home.
In the group calls and 1-2-1s, we look at what is working, what is not, what your teen is showing you, and what you need next. Then we adjust.
No scripts. No one-size-fits-all advice.
Confidence does not come from memorising the perfect thing to say. It comes from understanding what you and your teen need, so you can respond with more steadiness, more choice, and less guesswork.
WHAT COMPASS PARENTS ARE SAYING
"Myself and my husband have recently embarked on a 6 month programme with Nicola to coach and support us with problem issues with teens. We are only a couple of months in and the benefits are really showing. … The learning and changes I have started to use are really helping improve things slowly but surely. I feel stronger, clearer, reassured, motivated and energised. … I am learning so much and feel the 6 month programme is a life saver. The whole family is benefiting."
Barbara, Rochdale · ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Google review
“My relationship with my teen feels much calmer and lighter”
K - Newcastle
"It doesn't feel like a battle anymore."
Emma – Derby
"Since joining COMPASS, I feel less alone, calmer, more confident and have a better understanding of my teen."
Emma, Essex
A free 30-minute call before you commit to anything.
Here's how you and I will work together
The system
You’ll move through the COMPASS Framework through short videos, most between 5 and 20 minutes, with a worksheet for each step.
The videos help you understand what is happening. The worksheets help you put it into practice in your own home.
You can move at your own pace. There is no fixed timeframe you have to keep up with.
The support
We’ll meet live on Zoom for a 60-minute group call every Thursday at 2 pm, except the third Thursday of each month.
That third Thursday is kept clear so you have space to put what you’re learning into practice.
On the group calls, you can bring what is happening at home, ask questions, and get support with the parts that feel hard to work through alone.
You’ll also have unlimited 30-minute 1-2-1 support with me for the moments when you need a more private space.
The community
You’ll be part of the COMPASS community in Slack, alongside other parents navigating similar things in their own homes.
It gives you somewhere steady to go between calls, so you’re not left carrying the “am I handling this right?” question by yourself.
If you’re parenting alone, or your co-parent sees things differently from you, this is where the live calls, 1:1 support, and community really matter. You’re not left trying to work it all out by yourself, and you don’t have to feel alone while you’re putting this into practice.
The core areas we’ll work through together
COMPASS is not about memorising the perfect thing to say. It is about understanding what is happening between you and your teen, so you can respond with more steadiness, clarity, and connection.
Across the programme, we will come back to these core areas again and again:
- Understanding your teen’s emotional world, including the teenage brain, the four core emotions, and what anger, fear, sadness, or happiness might be trying to communicate.
- Learning how to regulate yourself in difficult moments, using tools for triggers, trigger stacking, co-regulation, coping mechanisms, and emotional first aid.
- Building connection through the way you listen, communicate, validate, show respect, and notice the difference between reacting and responding.
- Setting boundaries that are clear and workable, including what is in your control, what is negotiable, what is not negotiable, and how to follow through without relying on pressure or empty threats.
- Repairing after conflict, so you can spot the pattern between you, catch it earlier next time, apologise in a way that lands, and rebuild everyday connection.
- Understanding why some moments feel so loaded, including the messages you grew up with, your parenting roots, attachment patterns, and what you may be bringing into the relationship without realising.
- Finding a steadier way forward as a parent, whether you are parenting alone, parenting together, or trying to create more consistency across different homes.
You will not be asked to become calm all the time or get it right every time. The aim is to help you understand the pattern, strengthen the relationship, and respond in a way you can feel more at peace with afterwards.
COMPASS is right for you if:
- You’re parenting a teen aged 11 to 19
- You know staying calm makes sense, but in the moment it’s not always easy
- You’re open to looking at your own emotions, patterns and responses
- You know fixing your teen is not the answer, but you still want to be a steady, supportive presence in their life
- You want to understand what’s happening beneath the surface, not just react to what’s in front of you
- You want to build a steadier, more connected relationship with your teen
COMPASS may not be right for you if:
- You’re looking for someone to work directly with your teen, diagnose what’s going on, or provide therapy for them
- You want a programme that promises to change your teen quickly or make conflict disappear
- You’re not open to reflecting on your own responses, expectations, and the patterns that may be shaping how you parent
- You want a script to follow, rather than support to understand what is happening in your own family
NICE TO MEET YOU
I'm Nicki Saunders
I’m a Psychotherapist, clinical supervisor, and author, and I’ve spent over 25 years supporting parents through the kinds of challenges that can make family life feel tense, confusing, and exhausting.
I grew up in the ’70s, with parenting that was very typical of the era. It took me years to understand how much those early patterns shaped the way I felt, reacted, and parented.
That is one of the reasons COMPASS exists.
Not because the past is about blame, but because understanding what shaped you can help you choose how you show up now.
COMPASS brings together the insight from my therapeutic work with practical tools you can use in real life, especially in the moments that feel hardest to navigate. It is designed to help you better understand your teen, feel more confident in how you respond, and build a calmer, more connected relationship over time.
I’m also the author of Who Made You The Milk Police, a book focused on parental burnout and stress-free parenting.
If you’re feeling worn down, second-guessing yourself, or unsure what to try next, you are not alone, and you do not have to work this out by yourself.
What's included in COMPASS
When you join COMPASS, you’ll have support in every part of the process, not just the teaching, but also the space to reflect, ask questions, and get help with what’s happening in your own home.
- The full COMPASS Framework, with short, focused lessons you can work through at your own pace
- A Full Home Audit at the start, so we can identify where your priority focus needs to be
- Weekly 60-minute live group calls on Zoom, except the third Thursday of each month
- Unlimited 30-minute 1:1 support with me, for the moments that feel too personal or complex to bring to the group
- A private parent community, so you’re not carrying this by yourself between calls
- Two years’ access to the full framework and content, so you can return to what you need when you need it
Investment
£997
or
3 × £355
monthly instalments (£1,065 in total)
If you’re joining with your partner, you’re both welcome for the same price, with your own individual access to the learning portal.
Love it or leave it guarantee
What if it doesn’t feel right?
Before you join, we’ll speak first so you can get a feel for whether COMPASS is the right fit for you.
If, within the first 4 weeks, it doesn’t feel right, you’re free to leave with a full refund. I simply ask that you work through the first module and come to the group calls, so you’ve had a real chance to experience the programme before deciding.
I don’t want anyone to stay if it isn’t the right support for them. If you realise COMPASS isn’t for you, that’s completely okay.
T&Cs apply.
Who is COMPASS for?
Is COMPASS therapy?
Does my teen have to take part?
What support is included in COMPASS?
How does the unlimited 1-2-1 support work?
Is COMPASS online, and can I join from outside the UK?
What if I can’t come to the live group calls?
How much time does it take each week?
I am not very techy. How easy is it to access the content?
What if I fall behind?
What if my partner and I parent differently, or I’m doing this alone?
I'm worried about being in a group. Can you tell me what to expect?
Is what I share kept private?
What does it cost, and can I pay monthly?
What if I join and realise it isn’t right for me?
Ready to see if COMPASS is right for you?
Book a FREE Mini Home Audit
This is not a sales call. We'll look at one real challenge you're facing right now, and you’ll leave with something practical to try.
Explore COMPASS
We can book a separate call to talk through the programme, your questions, and whether the support would fit your family.
Join COMPASS
If COMPASS feels right for you, I’ll show you exactly what happens next and get you set up.
If it’s not the right fit, I’ll tell you honestly and point you toward what may help instead.
If we’ve already spoken, message me, and I’ll send the next steps.
Nicki
