Parenting is an absolute minefield of people providing well-meaning advice based on science and research and all that's in between, which is wonderful, but how often do you think:
'For goodness sake, yet another thing I should or shouldn't do as a parent.'
or 'Oh no, I'm the worst parent because...'
As a course creator of precisely this subject, what is becoming abundantly clear to me is that I don't want to be seen as yet another person telling parents how to 'GET IT RIGHT'... because guess what? There really is no right!
Suppose I were to say that it is inevitable that your children are likely to have issues with how you raised them! You may never get to hear their gripe, but it's more than likely there. What would you think or say?
Ask yourself the question.
"Was your childhood perfect?" Probably not!
Yet most people can say that their parents did the best they could with the tools they had, and they meant well. Brilliant... that doesn't stop us from having issues with our parents though, therefore why wouldn't your children?
My point is we all get it wrong, but it's to what degree that matters and whether we learn from our mistakes. Also, when we do get it wrong, it's how we deal with the situation at hand when our dependent child or our adult child decides to bring their gripe with us to the table.
Listening, validating, and a genuine apology is often all it takes to heal upsets along the way.
MOST parents want the best for their children, FULL STOP. But, the reality is that we're all winging it and often doing the best we can with the tools we have, together with all the well-meaning advice we find along the way.
Learning new ways to nurture and communicate with our children is excellent as it helps us become more informed. Although god help me, I can't tell you how many times I told my children to get their shoes on and guess what? After 15 times of asking them, they still didn't have them on, just as we were about to walk out of the door, by which time I'm losing it. Then what... drop them at school and tear yourself up because yet again, you've yelled at them before packing them off for a day of learning. #badparent
Parenting is TOUGH. It's undoubtedly the most challenging thing I've done, and due to my excellent skills in keeping my children alive, I'm still doing it (they're now 21 and 18). Thankfully, however, I've learnt along the way, as are you.
You're not going to be perfect, and do you know what? that's ok!
My message to you is to be kind to yourself. Yes, learn more about areas you feel you lack knowledge in but remind yourself that you've never done this before. The very fact that you're even reading this blog states that you care about your child's development and the influence you will have on them, which is fantastic, and you're already a great parent just by simply being here.
In my mind, if we understand why we are the parent we are, we then have the power to change it if we so wish. Of course, science and research (and all that's in between) help us understand what our children need from us, but executing that can be like walking around in the dark. Parenting should be an exciting journey, with its challenges and rewards, not steeped in the terror of getting it WRONG.
Whilst I'm creating 'The Empowered Parenting programme', I'm not professing to have all the answers for you, but I am professing to help you understand your parenting journey and find YOUR way to raise your little people with confidence.
Curious to know more about 'The Empowered Parenting programme'? Click here.